So I'm staring at my blank "Create Post" screen and have no idea what to write. It's been quite a while since I last posted and I haven't been in the mood to write. My sisters begged me to write something new, to update my blog.

So, I am going to oblige them but what to write? After channel surfing, I stumbled onto Channel 7's show, Debate, and the topic is very interesting: Kasal or Live In? Ahh, one topic that's always interesting to debate on. So my dear sisters, I'm obliging to your request but I don't think this is the topic you'd want to read about.

Unlike in the United States, living in with your significant other is not as common here in the Philippines. In the US, "living in" or in more appropriate terms, "moving in together" is the next step after dating, the step before getting engaged and eventually, getting married. Here in the Philippines, moving in together is considered, in moral standards, living in sin. In fact, a lot of couples who live together (but aren't married) are usually (1) single people who can't afford to get married but want to be with their boyfriend/ girlfriend or (2)people who were married previously, can't get/ is waiting for their annulment while starting a family with another person.

I don't know, my eyes may be closed or maybe I just don't know people who actually do live together because they're taking the next step in their relationship but I think that generally, here in the Philippines, living in is taboo or frowned upon by our elders. If a couple wants to live together, they have to get married first.

Personally, while I value the sanctity of marriage, I also believe in living together first before marriage. (Whoa, back away, conservative people who want to throw tomatoes and rotten vegetables at me! This is my personal opinion. Write your opinion about marriage and living in in your blog!) Not because it's fun to play house but just so you could get to know your partner more intimately, not in the physical, sexual sense but in a whole different plane. By living with your partner and being with your partner almost 24/7, you get to see a different side of him or her. Does he leave his clothes on the floor instead of putting in the laundry bin when changing? Does he help you with the chores? Does he snore loudly? Does he help you pay the bills on time? Will he start drinking and get drunk at home? These are menial things but if you're going to encounter them everyday for the rest of your life, can you deal with it? Can you live with it? Sure, it's easy to say that you can because you love each other and you can work it out. But can you cross the bridge when you get there? Living together will definitely change, not only a lot of aspects in the relationship, but also the way you relate with one another.

Living together is a way to find out if you can live with your partner when you get married. Ask me what happens when you realize that you can't live with your partner and I'll answer "I don't know." But, I'll be idealistic here and say that if you really love each other and want to make it work, you'll find a way to compromise on your issues.

But believing in living together doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be doing it myself. Honestly, I don't know if I will move in with A prior to marriage but I'm keeping an open mind. My dad believes in living in because he thinks that it is one way, if not the only way, to get to know your partner more (imagine my disbelief when he voiced his opinion because I never thought my dad would say that). Of course, he said that in front of my very religious grandmother and she said, "hoy! pwede ba?!" as if she wants to condemn her first born to hell for putting ideas into her first grandchild's head, lest for even conjuring that thought. But I guess both my dad and I have this liberalism towards living in because of his failed marriage and separation from my mom. It was a lesson learned for him... and me.

And while I believe in living together before marriage, I also believe that the living in should not last a long time and ultimately, end in marriage.